yes

Sometimes, I wish I could tell the boy sitting beside me that he smells wonderful, and that I would say yes to his smell. too bad, it’s creepy. i was a little creeped out when the salesboy told me he liked the pendent b/w my breasts and was wondering where i got it from. he wanted to get it for his girlfriend. next time, i may to turn to him, tell him, I like how you smell, what is it? where did you get it from? i want to buy it for my boyfriend.

thankful

I got this in my email today, and thought I share:

Every day we have something to be thankful for.  Today we are thankful that the photographer was not standing on the other side!

“What Do Women Want?”

I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what's underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I'm the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I'll pull that garment
from its hanger like I'm choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I'll wear it like bones, like skin,
it'll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in.

-Kim Addonizio

I lost you.

I was going thru my notes today and found this note – no date, but it most likely belongs to summer 2008. Here is what it said:

If four years ago you entered my life, you officially walked into it a few hours ago. I woke up with a part of you inside me. How thankful. How regretful. For those moments.

Every year, this time the mute heart craves for you. For your long overdue haircut, your unshaved face, your awkward posture, andthe  shy smile that comes thru every word.

The truth is, I just miss feeling you. Thinking of you. Having you.

You won’t be coming to me. But the moments we shared are reserved. Good times.

Best wishes, my silent lost boy.

I am a bitch.

We run

We wait

Light in our faces

We love

We yell

We hurt

Kick in our stomachs

I am a bitch.

A mega bitch.

I used to think it was just my critical thinking

But now,

Today,

I misrepresent

As if I am a lion freed from a life long cage

No limitations

No strings attached

I need brarriers

Hold me back

No more shame. please.

No more regrets.

Sick of it.

Keep me quiet.

Make me the woman without opinion.

Or at least,

Take away my need to express

that damn opinion

People say, knowlegde is good.

I say, knowledge bites

causes suffering

frustrates.

I am exhaustedd of the anger

Give me fear

Put me in chains

Or at least let me be Dorian Gray.

Sin, but don’t reveal

Hurt

Yell

But all in silence

Just between you and me.

That’s my request

I’d hate it if it’s that same as yours.

See,

Told you

I am a bitch

a megabitch.

ring or no ring?

I have to say that even though I have a really nice-looking ring finger, and rings tend to looks really nice on that particular finger, my ring finger is my least favourite body part. why? b/c it’s always a statement! whether you are wearing a ring or not. doesn’t matter. wearing a ring, married? engaged? hooked up? not wearing a ring? single? divorced? argh! I just hate how this finger always has to make a statement. Frankly, I don’t know what to do with it. I’m not entirely sure if I want a wedding ring even if I’m married, and let’s say I’m married and have a ring, why should every random person on the street know that I’m married? isn’t it creepy?

maybe I should chop it off.

no.

kidding.

horrible, horrible, horrible, bad, bad, bad idea!

marriage? no!

Seems like everyone’s getting married. and i wonder, is there something wrong that I’m not getting married? or that I’m not even thinking about it? Or that I can’t even imagine myself in a white dress? Marriage seems so far to me. Weddings don’t even exist in my mind. Yes, at some point in my life, I want to make the decision to be someone. But not yet. The thing is, in all honesty, I think marriage is too risky when you’re young. I mean how do you know that the person you have only known for a minimal percentage of your lifetime is going to be the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with? you simply have minimal knowledge about yourself and that person. The only thing that makes me think that marriage should happen at a relatively young age is that I don’t think having a large age difference with your children is a great idea. Children need young and enthusiastic parents. The other problem is that as women age, reproduction also gets more difficult. Damn nature! But of course you can overcome this problem by adopting. But what if the woman really wants to experience pregancy and child birth?

too many thoughts. marriage is too risky. that’s my conclusion. and, well, i am still young.

Mike check

I relate so much with this poem, that it almost made me shiver at the end. There is so much I share with Suheir as woman of visible minority.

Here it is:

We live here, right here

Palestinian girls stand on the balcony of the ruined house in Rafa, hit during Israel's 22-day offensive against Gaza earlier this year, 2 July 2009 (Photo SAID KHATIB/AFP)

Israel: Rise of the Right

By Ilan Mizrahi, Israeli filmmaker and photojournalist, More…